söndag 21 februari 2010

A short reflection about age

Something started to happen to me a while ago, but I noticed it for real maybe a few months back. It started really slowly, barely noticeable but in time, it picked up the phase. I started to feel it in my very bones, it was visible in my skin, I could feel it in my mind. Something had irreversibly started to change, and I knew all to well what it was. I have slowly started to grow older.

Yeah, I know what some of you're thinking - with the big three o just around the bend, this is just some kind of crisis, and a rather silly one as well. Well, it might be so but I really doubt it. First of all, it feels nothing like a crisis, it's actually quite comfortable. I can look back and for the first time ever have some perspective on things I've said and done. I can see that I've started to learn important things, and that it took me quite a while to realize what really was important to me. That a lot of my struggles has been rather pointless, and did not get me anywhere. That the path I am walking on now seems a lot more promising, and at the same time a lot harder. That I have, at times, been childish, selfish and less than a decent person. That I have spent a awful lot of time just looking back. And with this with me, I do also see that I am still nothing but a child with a immense amount of things still left to learn, and a lot of mistakes still left to make. There will be new things to try and make a mess out of. There will also be things to master, and maybe even perfect, if happiness smiles upon me. It does feel quite good, after all.

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